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I’ve been feeling weird all night. My moods were everywhere, one minute I’m fine the next I’m sad the next I’m angry..for no reason. It was simply just being surrounded by people, most of whom were drunk or damn close to it and picking up on all their moods. Cause drinking enhances my empathic abilities which is why I’m so all over the place when I’m drunk. Regardless my brain has been bouncing around from emotion to emotion all night, from rational thought to irrational thought. I wish I could be like everyone else when I’m drinking and just let loose and have a good time but my brain just doesn’t work that way. And there’s a point where I just get tired of being around drunk people cause they start to annoy me and their clouded emotions are flooding my head and I just can’t take it anymore. And it’s always worse when there’s a lot of people cause I feel too much and it’s overwhelming and I can’t tell what are my emotions and what aren’t anymore. And I just don’t feel comfortable. I say stupid things not cause I’m drunk because even when I am I’m still pretty level headed I’m just physically uncoordinated. What makes me say stupid things is being flooded by other people’s emotions and not being able to control that flow and not knowing what I’m feeling and what feelings aren’t mine anymore. And I may feel angry or sad and say something mean or hurtful and it’s just cause I’m frustrated from not knowing why I’m feeling like that. This is why I generally don’t drink cause it happens nearly every time and it’s not a pleasant feeling. So don’t take what I say when I’m drunk literally cause my brain is bouncing from one thing to another and I get frustrated and upset and take it out on people cause I can’t control it.
Sooo, as I’m new to the whole poly relationship thing, I think we need to talk about what we’re both okay with when it comes to this. So I’ll start and we can find some middle ground where we’re both happy or at least okay.
Biggest thing I’d say is not having more that 2 relationships, meaning, the one between us and one other person, cause anything more than that I think would get too complicated and time consuming. I don’t plan on starting anything with more than one other person besides you. I might make some new friends but they’re going to stay just friends.
Also, not really big on the idea of sleeping around though I don’t think that’ll be an issue with either of us as we’re picky about who we have sex with. But it just needed to be put out there. I don’t want this to be an open invitation to go nuts and fuck whoever whenever. Like I said, don’t think this will be an issue with us.
Hopefully this one won’t upset you but I really don’t feel comfortable with the idea of either of us having sex with anyone else in our bed. One, it’s gross cause we sleep there and two, because it just makes me uncomfortable. Sleeping with another person is fine as there’s less bodily fluids going around if you know what I mean.
Another big one: honesty. We need to tell each other who we’re with and what we’re doing with them. Especially if sex is involved so we can be safe and not catch anything. This is only going to work if we’re honest with each other. And I’m not saying I won’t ever get jealous or hurt by the things you do with other people cause like I said, I’m new to this whole thing.
Time management is important. This is part of the reason why I don’t think we should have more than one other relationship going on at a time. Regardless of who else I’m with or whatever new friends I may make, I do enjoy spending time with you and I don’t want this to turn into you going away all the time and my never seeing you. I don’t think it will but it is a fear I have and I need to put it out there. Unlike you I tend to put those people I’m in a relationship with over friends in terms of importance, mainly because I’m closer to them and their needs are most important to me, and any friends I have would understand and respect that. This usually has not been a big issue for me in the past cause most people understand that loved ones, related or not come first.
Like you said, if we make plans or you make plans with someone else, no going back on them for someone else unless there’s something major going on (death, illness or whatever) Regardless of whether the timing’s bad, sometimes shit happens and it’s not cool to blow someone off if say, their mom just died or whatever. Smaller things such as me having panic attacks or feeling poopy while important, can at the very least be remedied by texting or phone calls if we’re apart. I will probably do this anyway, regardless of how I’m feeling, and as we’ve done it in the past I don’t think it’ll be a big deal. Just like with you, any person I’m with whether friends or something more, will understand that you and I are close as well and need to check in with each other every now and then to see how we’re doing.
So that’s it for now and I hope this doesn’t make you go all rawr cause I’m just trying to make sure we’re both comfortable and happy in this situation.
Kitten scurryings. I promise the black one is a kitten and not a bear. If the orange one keeps being a snuggle muffin and doesn’t turn into a demon I’m keeping her and naming her Phoenix. #animals #cats #kittens
Why is it that all the awesome people I follow on here live so far away? Stop that! But seriously though, if you live in or near Rhode Island and are interested in hanging out I need some new people to chill with. I’m socially awkward as fuck and it’s hard for me to just go out and make new friends. So yeah. Message me or sumfin.